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stare 14-08-2009, 14:58   #61
elskan
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

dobre, dobre
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stare 14-08-2009, 17:24   #62
Magi
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

lol, the last one was totally politically-incorrect hilarious
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stare 19-08-2009, 12:40   #63
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
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stare 19-08-2009, 13:09   #64
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

That's brilliant
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stare 20-08-2009, 23:32   #65
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

Hue hue hue ...

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:


Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa


A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
The letter was intercepted and at 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That next day the old man received another letter from his son.


Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,

Vinnie
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stare 21-08-2009, 00:28   #66
hecatka
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

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stare 21-08-2009, 00:46   #67
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

ten dowcip znam w wersji z synem -arabskim terrorysta i spulchnieniem przez FBI pola ziemniakow w poszukiwaniu trotylu
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http://muslimainparis.blogspot.com/
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stare 21-08-2009, 16:36   #68
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

I love this story! What a kind and thoughtful son
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stare 21-08-2009, 17:54   #69
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

that's a great one!!!!!
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stare 21-08-2009, 21:24   #70
Shyshka
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

Ciesze sie ze moglam wywolac usmiech na waszych twarzach ;-)
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stare 26-08-2009, 20:05   #71
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

Yeah, it's great but i guess that somebody else had written this joke here before
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stare 17-09-2009, 16:15   #72
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

Awful stereotype, but still: i like this joke


A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!!! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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stare 17-09-2009, 18:18   #73
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

LOL - I could tell the same joke, just the other way around
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stare 18-09-2009, 04:27   #74
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the
following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war"

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stare 18-09-2009, 09:36   #75
Magi
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Domyślnie Odp: A few jokes to make your day !

that's a bloody good one

I am borrowing this for my fb status today
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Ostatnio edytowany przez Magi : 18-09-2009 o 11:51.
Magi offline   Odpisz cytując cytuj zaznaczone
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