Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

A Canadian is seeking to join the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police)

The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."


Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."


"Why the rabbit?"


"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

TEACHIN' MATH IN DETROIT



Schools in Detroit are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!


NAME____________________

GANG/CREW NAME______________

CRIB_________________


1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

hahaha boskie!
to się nazywa po francusku "sauter sur l'occassion", czyli naprawdę dynamicznie wykorzystać okazję :D

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

WOW !! red-handed indeed !

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

from daily paper:

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Why is 6 afraid of 7?



Because 7 8 9 :P

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Good one, mixinn :D

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

nice ! :D

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Normalnie nie wiadomo czy smiac sie czy plakac... E-mail od mojej dyrekcji do calego zespolu (smaczku dodaje fakt, ze pracuje w organizacji, ktora ma wzniosle cele, np. prawa kobiet itp. itd.):

Dear all,

The smell of food can be a real appetizer but it can as well be putting off. Can I please ask you to refrain of bringing fish for lunch or anything else that has a strong smell. The problem is that there are offices close buy and a the kitchen is in an open space.

Thanks for being considerate.

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Dla mnie to zrozumiale. Moj pokoj w pracy jest blisko miejsca, gdzie je sie i podgrzewa lunch i czasem serio nos wykreca, szczegolnie ze mamy sporo Chinczykow i Indusow, ktorych jedzenie potrafi miec naprawde mocny zapach. Jak bylam w ciazy, to nie moglam miec drzwi otwartych i siedzialam u siebie z nosem w mietowkach.

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

I co, i uwazasz, ze powinno sie im zabronic przynosic ich jedzenie? Serio?
U nas wszyscy pukaja sie w glowe...
W koncu zawsze mozna zamknac drzwi.

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

A dla mnie nie. To znaczy rozumiem, że niektóre zapachy mogą być dokuczliwe, zwłaszcza dla kobiet w ciąży czy na przykład osób autystycznych, ale nie uważam, żeby to było właściwe, by wymagać od wszystkich zmiany diety. Bezwonne żarcie jest często również bez smaku, a to, co jednemu wydaje się mieć przyjazną woń, drugiemu będzie przeszkadzać. Ludzie spędzają dziś większość życia w pracy i tam się żywią; na jakiej podstawie mamy wymagać od nich, żeby się żywili tym, co nam pasuje?

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Nie, nie uwazam ze powinno im sie zabronic przynosic icy jedzenie. Uwazam, ze taki email ma za zadanie sprawienie zeby ludzie starali sie brac do pracy jedzenie bez silnego zapachu. Zeby po prostu pomysleli o innych.
Judyta, bez przesady, moga przeciez te silniej pachnace dania jesc w domu na obiad.

EDIT: no i chyba nie zawsze mozna zamknac drzwi. Dla mnie nie byloby to problemem, jesli pokoj przeznaczony do podgrzewania i jedzenia bylby zamkniety. U nas jest niejako w korytarzu, wiec zapachy sie rozchodza.

Odp: A few jokes to make your day !
 

Auc, jakie bledy w tym tekscie! Niech sie szandyrekcja podszkoli w angielskim :P