Management course
> Three Minute Management Course.
>"6" very important management lessons. > Lesson 1: > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her > shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel > and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the > next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 > to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel > and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 > and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. > When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob > the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he > say anything about the $800 he owes me?" > Moral of the story: > If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in >time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. > Lesson 2: > A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing > her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After > controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, > "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing > gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, > "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the > flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his > arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go > forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." > Moral of the story: > If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great > opportunity. > Lesson 3: > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch > when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The > Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" > says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, > without a care in the world. "Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the > sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal > masseuse, an endless supply of Pena Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! > He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, > "I want those two back in the office after lunch." > Moral of the story: > Always let your boss have the first say. > Lesson 4 > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw > the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle > answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle > and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > Moral of the story: > To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up > Lesson 5 > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the > top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, > why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're > packed with nutrients. "The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it > actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. > The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. > Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of > the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. > Moral of the story: > Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. > Lesson 6 > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird > froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a > cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in > the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was > actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to > sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate... > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow > dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. > Moral of the story: > (1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend > (3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut! > This ends the 3-minute management course > > ****************************** ****************************** ********* |
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