Home4All - A few jokes to make your day !

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Kiwi of course I did :D

Kolejny mail od tesciowej: ;)

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a descript_ion of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the
second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice', she thinks, 'but I want
more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

There is some truth in this joke ;)

man died, he went to heaven, he met st Peter in front of the paradise gate, man is just looking around and he sees some clocks-meeters on walls.
-what is this?- he asked
-these r special meeters, u can see those r showing how many sins each person did- St. Peter replied.
Some of them moving slow, some of them faster...
-where is Mr. George W. Bush's meeter?-man asked
-Jesus is using this as a fan in his room :P

Re: A few jokes to make your day !

A female computer programmer was helping a professional male client set up his computer. On being asked what password he'd like to use, he thought he would play a little practical joke on her and said he'd use *penis*.

Without batting an eyelash, or appearing to be embarrassed, the woman typed in the password.

However, the computer told them that.......................... ..

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH

Re: A few jokes to make your day !

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .

Bert had always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, "Shoulda' bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda' bought a hat."

Re: A few jokes to make your day !

Two nuns are riding on their bikes across an old Italian town.
"Hmmm... Strange," says the first nun, "I've never come this way before..."
"Shhh!" the other nun is blushing, "it's the cobblestones."

:)

Three nuns are working in the office of a local priest.
The first nun says, "When I was looking for something in Father's office last week, and I saw a whole pile of porn magazines in the filing cabinet."
"So what did you do with them?" the other nuns ask.
"Of course, I threw them all out," she answers
The nuns nod their heads in agreement.

The second nun says, "When I was in Father's office looking for something, I accidentally found a box of condoms in his desk drawer."
"Wow! What did you do with them?" the nuns ask.
"I punched tiny little holes in them with a needle," she answers.

The third nun just fainted.

:)