A few jokes to make your day !

[kiwigirl]

hu hu huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !! good one !

[kiwigirl]

Pants and Panties

Mike was going to be married to Karen
so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''

She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..'
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family
and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine..'

Mike did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'

Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change
your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'

[Magi]

hilarious

[Jelonek]

Aaaa, that one is so good I dont think I will risk telling that joke to Welly though

[amapola]

I found it at sb's FB profile. I hope nobody gets offended

. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big penis or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?



A: The same thing as a French

[Bibster]

Amapola, you lost the ending of last answer.
I had to google, as i didn't get the joke.
It should be:

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French, only down under

[amapola]

oh, yeah, you're right. thanks

[elskan]

A Lion would never cheat on his wife... but a Tiger wood

[Judyta]

Napisał elskan

A Lion would never cheat on his wife... but a Tiger wood

Witty

[Jelonek]

Mean

[magdalenamm]

Someone really stinks

A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"

Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"

The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."

And she says, "So have I, love."

To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."

[amapola]

lol

[Magi]

I cannot stop wondering, who in the bloody hell could have invented that sentence anyway and what that person was thinking a pen in a goat/ a goat in a pen is not exactly an image that comes to a sane person's mind. not as disturbing as the above, but still

[magdalenamm]

OMG! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iN...eature=related

[Jelonek]

They're not supposed to be smart or elloquent - they're supposed to be pretty
(shame she is neither really )